If you think that romance is the most
uncomfortable thing for Indian families to discuss – I’m going to tell you that
you’re wrong.
It’s money.
People in general do not want to talk about
money – because it’s awkward and embarrassing.
However, when it comes to couples - they do
not want to talk about money for two major reasons. One, when one of them
brings the topic of money into discussion they might fear that the other might
think of them as a greedy, selfish and money oriented person – and the question
of ‘unconditional’ love might come into play, making things take a wrong turn.
Second, men don’t want to discuss money
with their women, because no matter how many times they deny it, there is still
a portion of male ego attached to the very concept of money! (It’s a question of empowerment and who has
the upper hand in the relationship.)
While most couples fear that talking about
money might bring a rift in their relationship, financial experts suggest that
your relationship might be at a threat, if the two of you do not know how to
manage your finances or are at a difference with your financial principles.
It is ABSOLUTELY necessary to talk money
with your spouse, and it need not be awkward and rigid. Follow these
instruction to have a casual insight on where you’re both headed when it comes
to your financial wealth.
So, here are some tips to talk to the one
person you love, about the one thing you don’t want to talk about, but have to!
1. Set your goals
This is the most important step towards
getting to know each other. Sit down with a cup of coffee and discuss when you
want to get married, have babies (or an expensive pet!), buy a house or on how
many branded vacations you can afford in a year.
If either of you have educational loans, or
are planning to study further, discuss that too.
Remember, children are expensive. So are
cars, houses and PG degrees. It’s easy wanting to have these things, but it’s
essential that you are both involved in the process and support each other.
2. Family Commitments
The relationship you share with your
partner’s family is just as important as the relationship that you share with
your partner themselves. Do either of you have siblings that depend on you for
their educational expenses? How much of your earnings do you plan on giving to
your parents?
Think the other way around, too. Are you
still getting money from your parents and siblings? If so, what do you intend
to do with this extra cash flow?
Giving and getting financial help should
appear in the talk and you must be able to appreciate each other’s decision.
3. Principles
One of the most infuriating things for a
child to undergo is to have parents who are at the polar sides with the way
they manage money. Having a father who casually gives you fat checks for pocket
money and a mother you budgets strictly is going to give you mixed feelings
about how you perceive money. If you have children, make sure that you and your
partner discuss money with the child together.
And for heaven’s sake, don’t end up arguing
and getting into a fight over money in front of the child. Sort out your
differences before you sort out your child’s doubts and misconceptions. If your
sixteen year old daughter asks you why you can’t pay the capitation fee for her
medical education, you need to tell her if it’s because you can’t afford it or
because it’s against your principles.
So yes, talking money with your partner
might not be romantic, but hey – neither is watching you relationship fall
apart because you don’t know how to.
In fact, the more you discuss about your
finances together, the more you will get to know each other and respect each
other’s goals and principles.
So shove off the horoscopes and the romance
meters.
Check your financial compatibility with your
beloved, before taking milestone steps with them.
Posted by
Balakarthiga