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Discussing finances with your partner



If you think that romance is the most uncomfortable thing for Indian families to discuss – I’m going to tell you that you’re wrong.

It’s money.

People in general do not want to talk about money – because it’s awkward and embarrassing.

However, when it comes to couples - they do not want to talk about money for two major reasons. One, when one of them brings the topic of money into discussion they might fear that the other might think of them as a greedy, selfish and money oriented person – and the question of ‘unconditional’ love might come into play, making things take a wrong turn.

Second, men don’t want to discuss money with their women, because no matter how many times they deny it, there is still a portion of male ego attached to the very concept of money!  (It’s a question of empowerment and who has the upper hand in the relationship.)

While most couples fear that talking about money might bring a rift in their relationship, financial experts suggest that your relationship might be at a threat, if the two of you do not know how to manage your finances or are at a difference with your financial principles.

It is ABSOLUTELY necessary to talk money with your spouse, and it need not be awkward and rigid. Follow these instruction to have a casual insight on where you’re both headed when it comes to your financial wealth.

So, here are some tips to talk to the one person you love, about the one thing you don’t want to talk about, but have to!

1.       Set your goals

This is the most important step towards getting to know each other. Sit down with a cup of coffee and discuss when you want to get married, have babies (or an expensive pet!), buy a house or on how many branded vacations you can afford in a year.

If either of you have educational loans, or are planning to study further, discuss that too.

Remember, children are expensive. So are cars, houses and PG degrees. It’s easy wanting to have these things, but it’s essential that you are both involved in the process and support each other.

2.       Family Commitments

The relationship you share with your partner’s family is just as important as the relationship that you share with your partner themselves. Do either of you have siblings that depend on you for their educational expenses? How much of your earnings do you plan on giving to your parents?

Think the other way around, too. Are you still getting money from your parents and siblings? If so, what do you intend to do with this extra cash flow?

Giving and getting financial help should appear in the talk and you must be able to appreciate each other’s decision.

3.       Principles

One of the most infuriating things for a child to undergo is to have parents who are at the polar sides with the way they manage money. Having a father who casually gives you fat checks for pocket money and a mother you budgets strictly is going to give you mixed feelings about how you perceive money. If you have children, make sure that you and your partner discuss money with the child together. 

And for heaven’s sake, don’t end up arguing and getting into a fight over money in front of the child. Sort out your differences before you sort out your child’s doubts and misconceptions. If your sixteen year old daughter asks you why you can’t pay the capitation fee for her medical education, you need to tell her if it’s because you can’t afford it or because it’s against your principles.

So yes, talking money with your partner might not be romantic, but hey – neither is watching you relationship fall apart because you don’t know how to.

In fact, the more you discuss about your finances together, the more you will get to know each other and respect each other’s goals and principles.

So shove off the horoscopes and the romance meters.  

Check your financial compatibility with your beloved, before taking milestone steps with them. 


Posted by 

Balakarthiga



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